Talk about random acts of kindness, well I think I was dished up one of those yesterday!
I was pottering about the kitchen, trying to look busy, Him indoors was actually outdoors laying bricks ( instead of me!), when my ex-husband rang me.
He asks how I am, OK I tell him,
what are you up to this weekend?, nothing special I reply.
He then says he is waiting for Jamie who has gone to pick his speakers up, right, I say.
I ask him did he want anything in particular, he then replies 'would you like some pistachio nuts?
Pistachio nuts? WTF???
No thankyou as I dont like all the mess from the shells!
Oh, I thought you liked pistachio nuts, he sounds disappointed.
I do, but they play my irritable bowel up and I dont like the mess, (of the shells!)but thanks for the kind thought! Oh but my Mad Aunt likes them!, I tells him.
'Oh great I will take some to her, he says excitedly.
Sad Twat!
Of all the things we could have discussed on the phone, like the crap maintenance payments, the fact that he owes nearly 10 grand on my credit card, all the debt chasing letters coming to my house, a house he has never lived in, addressed to him threatening court, bailiffs etc.
He didn't discuss if the boys need shoes or new uniform or college stuff.
Oh no, not my sensible Ex, he calls to see if I would like some pistachio nuts!
Whatever!
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2 comments:
How I relate to this. I left my ex husband 7 years ago. Over that 7 years he paid child support for just over a year, $50 per week for 3 children. Somehow he managed to slip through the Child Support Agency and he now owes $20,000 for over that 7 years.
As for being a Dad, well he wasn't the best at that, I know he loves his boys but they were constantly let down and dissapointed. So sad.
When my son was killed I thought he would change, I thought he would start keeping in regular contact with his boys, but he called them twice after the funeral in the first 5 months. To his credit I will say that this last six weeks he has had a complete turn around. He is calling his boys, texting them, sending them things they need and I'm even getting a couple of thousand in child support in a couple of weeks.
After my son was killed I felt so much resentment towards my ex husband, I have never put him down to the kids because he is their dad and they are not silly kids and knew what he was like, but when Nathan died I felt so angry and so sick to the stomach that my boy died not having a close relationship with is dad when he died. He wanted that.
Anyhow, the boys dad and I spoke recently for the first time since the funeral (apart from one brief call) and I started to tell him how it's been over the past 7 years, he stopped me and said "you don't have to say another word Beck, I know I've been a complete dickhead and it's going to change"
It still breaks my heart to know Nae didn't experience that with his dad and I know his dad feels extreme grief over that and regret.
It's been a tough 7 years but my boys have made it worth every tear, every struggle. Nathan once said to me, "mum if it wasn't for you , I would not be the person I am today". That makes it all worthwhile.
The ex is finally making an effort and changing and it's great to see the boys feeling better about it, they are a lil cautious but are accepting that he really is changing.
I hope things get better as far as your ex goes. (sorry to ramble in your comments!)
Hey Becka, I appreciate your comments, no matter how long!
I know this is only a small consolation, but maybe a little bit of good has come from this tradgedy, the boys are getting to know their Dad again, and you are getting a little bit of support. I am sure Nathan would not grudge his brothers this time with their Dad, and he is probably smiling down knowing he had something to do with the turn around.
Julie x
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