Monday, 31 March 2008

At Last Good News!

Yay! my wee man is coming home tomorrow.

I was sleeping off a particularly nasty nightshift and woke to find a text from the little fella to say he would be allowed home tuesday lunch time.

His war wounds on his bum are healing lovely and no more sickness. Not sure about the blood in his urine as they never checked yesterday so I asked them to re-check today.

Him indoors is at it again, surprise,surprise!

He is such a retard I cant even be bothered to write about him except to say I came home from my nightshift to find a note claiming I stole his money, and he had, had enough of me and was going to move out! oh what again! Change the tune love this one is seriously boring!

I wouldnt mind but the money in question was put in his underwear drawer and I text him last night to tell him where I had put it. He is seriously messed up!

This time I feel quite chilled, well it is the third time in March he has moved out. This time lets hope he goes and stays away, hopefully I will be strong enough not to let the little twat back!

Mind you he has got to actually leave first!


Saturday, 29 March 2008

A week at the hospital

I have spent my life since Tuesday, backwards and forwards to the childrens ward where my little man has been admitted. Poor wee soul. He has got all these infected abscessess on his bum, so needs IV antibiotics for a week, the blood in his urine is slowly getting less so that is good news.

Now though he is being really sick and doctor thinks it was a dodgy macdonalds that his dad brought him up for his tea last night.

I left him sleeping as they had given him an anti-sickness injection which made him sleepy.

My ex husband turned up at the hospital while I was with Liam and I sometimes wonder how I was ever married to him in the first place. Dont get me wrong, we get on ok, and are still friends but I just dont fancy him at all, his breath smells rank, he is always dressed so dull, and grey. He looks at me funny sometimes and I cant work out if it is longing or loathing in his eyes!

I have been to B & Q with him indoors earlier, then he treated us to the KFC boneless bucket and now I feel sick!

Tuesday, 25 March 2008

Another Crap Easter!

We ventured to the pub on Good Friday as the kids had gone to Grandads to play poker!

Marcus was moody with me for some reason and decided to cause another argument so he could go off in a huff and stay at his mates gaff, detouring on the way to the local cattle market (chicargo rock cafe)!

I warned him the following day that if he moved his stuff out I would not let him back.

I ended up going to the Woolly for a couple of white wines on Saturday afternoon, with my friends Jackie and Barney. (Where were you Si?)

Then off to the Fenman for a couple more where I found his Lordship drowning his sorrows!

He came home later and bought me a take-away. I think I am learning how to handle him at last, either that or I dont give a toss anymore!

My little man has had 7 more abscessess pop up on his bum, poor soul. He has been in so much pain. I rushed him to the out of hours GP at the hospital and he tested Liam's urine incase he was diabetic, but all it showed was a large amount of blood???? Doc gave him 2 lots of anti-biotics, one for the abscesses and one for the blood in his urine.

I have been so worried about him, and have made another appointment to see our GP this afternoon to ask for tests.

The ex husband turned up on Easter Monday with a mahoosive easter egg for each of the boys, (where the fuck is mine?? I gave birth to the little sods!!)

Diet has come to a definate stand-still and wont be helped any by my friend wanting to go for a fuck-off breakfast at the Globe this morning. 4 hours later and it is still repeating on me, so I decided to eat an Easter egg to push the sausage and bacon down, but now feel REALLY sick!!

Tuesday, 18 March 2008


Oh deary me,

Him indoors has given up smoking again! Not good news!

He went to the doctor and got the new pills called champix. But already he is as snappy as anything. He bit my head off because I microwaved his sweetcorn twice. oh deah.

He snapped at me twice more over other dull shit so I screamed at him to get some tobacco as I will not put up with his snappiness just because he cant control his moods.

My battle with my bulge is slow. I need to get a wiggle on as I am going on holiday in May and want to look a fox for the occasion. I have lost 10 lb so far but I seem to be struggling. I may need to get those weight watchers books out of the cupboard as they seem to work well for me.

My little mans botty is getting much better and is healing nicely. Having had an abscess removed in surgery he has been my brave little soldier!

Well today brings glad tidings and joy as I am taking my mother into town and meeting up with my sister for lunch. Looking forward to getting fed! But will have something healthy.
(yeah right o)

Sunday, 16 March 2008

The bin bags are back!

Well, well, well what a surprise! The tosser is back!

I knew it wouldnt be long, he had started to send me the odd blank text to catch my attention. Which I ignored.

Then, not content with that, he moved on to texting 'how is Sid?' (sid being the little dog I bought him for christmas last year).

Then he progressed to ringing me and trying to scare me over the house, telling me he wanted his share of the house asap as he needed to rent somewhere because it was doing his head in staying at Bob's! Tough. He has more than enough money to rent a place, and the house wont sell over night. Twat.

Anyway he went from wanting 15K down to wanting his tools back and 5K. Lovely jubbly!

The next night was Friday and I went to bingo, yes I said bingo! and didnt win. I got home and went to bed with a book and a glass of wine, oh yes I sure live well!

It had just gone 10pm when my mobile rang.......yep it was him. He sounded a bit drunk. He asked if I had won at bingo, obviously I had been seen by one of his cronies. He then asked where I was, I told him in bed. to which he apologised and said he was off back to the pub and would call later????

About 40 minutes later, sure enough the twat rang me and woke me up, asking if I had been drinking, 1 glass of wine I told him and asked why. I wondered if you could pick me up, as I really miss you. And like a total fool I went and picked him up.

The sex was great, and I have missed him a bit. And the mortgage is due soon!

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

What a load of Bollocks

You will not believe my life!

my God it can be so shit sometimes!

Friday night my 12 year old came down the stairs after a bath with blood and lots of pus ouzing from his buttock cheek, he had an abscess that had burst and when he started to shiver and feel sick I thought I had better take him to casualty.

Him indoors was already half cut so I took Liam up there on my own.

I was supposed to be on nightshift that night and told them I would be running late.

The doctor decided to admit Liam as he wanted the surgeon to come and have a look.

The surgeon wanted to take him to theatre first thing in the morning and cut out and clean out the abscess. I rang down to my ward to see if they were coping ok and they were so I offered to do monday night instead which was ok.

I left Liam once we had seen everyone, and I had signed the consent form etc.

I went home to get a couple of hours sleep before I had to be back for the anethetist early in the morning. I had a galss of wine and was getting a few things together for Liam when him indoors came raging downstairs to say I had woken him up, and since he had been up since 5am he found that to be bloody inconsiderate! WTF? he didnt even ask how the boy was!

Well I went to the hospital in the morning for 7.30am alone again!

They took Liam to theatre very early and I was with him while they put him under. It was one of the hardest things I had ever watched. He had never been put to sleep before and I know its crazy but I was so worried he would not wake up again.

It was the longest hour of my life and I had never felt so alone, but the little man was soon back and tucking into a bacon butty!

I left Liam to sleep as he was still quite groggy, and I decided to get a couple of hours sleep myself so I went home.

He was fixing next doors flat roof, so I yelled up that I was going to bed and that they may let Liam home later.

This would have been ok but for the fact we were supposed to be going to a 40th party and we had booked a room for the night. when I got up from my nap, he said that he had been looking forward to his night out, so I told him to go out with his cronies if it was that important to him. I was being sarcastic when I said it as I hoped he wouldnt go out without me under the circumstances. He started a row and I ended up begging him not to go without me. I had to go back to the hospital to see Liam and see what the surgeon had decided about him coming home.

So to stop Marcus leaving before I got back, I hid his wallet, Yeah I know it was wrong but I felt desperate. He came out of the lounge and looked on the side for his wallet which was strange as I had never hid it before! he asked where it was and I told him I didnt know. He threatened to phone the police, and although I didnt think he would I though I had better return it. He was really frothing at the mouth over the incident.

I left him ranting and raving and went up to see my son in hospital.

When I returned about 5.30pm with my son, Him indoors was no where to be seen. I text him telling him I was really hurt that he had cleared off . He rang me a bit later to ask would I be locking him out and I said no, I would leave the door undone.

At about 22.40 he tried to ring me and thinking he would be drunk and wanting a lift home, I ignored it.

Twice more he tried to call and again I never answered. About an hour later He wasnt home so I called him, he was very drunk. I asked when was he coming home, he said he wasnt, and was going to stay at his mates.

Well I was having none of that! I had been traumatised over my sons episode, I had spent all Saturday night on my own really miserable and now the little fucker wasnt coming home!!

I decided to go and fetch him, when I got to his mates they were having an argument in the street, having staggered from the club they go to, I went across the road and asked him to come home, he refused so I started ranting at him and asked which slag had he been with.

He kept insisting he had done nothing wrong, he was drooling at the mouth and he was so drunk he could hardly stand.

I went back across the road to get into my car and his mate insisted also that he had done nothing wrong so I asked his mate had the ex wife been in the club as the bitch loves to turn up and sit at the table next to us and wind me up.

Bob said that the ex wife had been there but Marcus had only danced with her once! WTF he knows how I feel over her and all her vidictive lies, and Here I am breaking my heart on my own while he is smooching with that slag! Well I seriously flipped!

I ran back across the road and acused him of all sorts which he denied and kept insisting he had done nothing wrong. Ok it was not the end of the world, but because he knew I would be upset at him dancing with her that makes it WRONG, so I kicked him in the bollocks good and hard!

He was gutted and threatened to go to the police station, to which I said that I didnt care because being banged up would be better than having to live with him!

I went home and he called me 20 mins later to say the police were on their way! I shit myself as I had wacked him with a pair of boots last year and he phoned his mate and said I was being violent, and to ring the police! He was pissed and so was Bob, and I dont think he meant for Bob to really ring the police, it was just to scare me. Well I got a caution as I admitted it like a fool. I work at the hospital so it really isnt a good idea to go around getting cautions for common assault.

I rang him and begged him not to do this to me but he just said I was a nasty piece of work and deserved to loose my job and my kids. Tosser!

I know I shouldnt have lashed out but I really did have serious PMT and I had worked myself into a really emotional state. I tried to get him to come home the following morning to no avail.

He phoned me about lunch time on Sunday to ask why I kept ringing him, I told him I just wanted to see him and sort things out, to which he said 'why would I want to see a nasty piece of work like you?'

I said you probably dont, he said 'you are right, pack my stuff I will be round in an hour to pick it up,do I need the police or will you let me have it?'

I told him I wouldnt stand in his way.

I packed his stuff and then I took Liam back to the hospital to have his dressing changed, when we got back from the hospital Marcus had took his gear and gone.

I was absolutely devastated. what on earth will I do without him?
It is now Wednesday and I am coping much better than I expected.
An old fuck buddy has been on the blower already as he had seen Marcus in the pub alone and wanted to know if I am ok. So I guess I wont be on my own long.
Bob had rang on Sunday night after Marcus had gone to bed to see if I was ok, and to assure me he would work on Marcus to get him home.
It is getting to the stage when I dont even know if I want him back.
Each day gets easier.

Monday, 3 March 2008

All work and no play....

Ok so I just spent £300 on some slimming pills and I did quite well for the first 2 weeks, I lost 6 lb, week 3 I weighed in and I have stuck at 6lb off, so I am not really very happy. I seem to have cut down on the amount I am eating and even had a few nights off the booze! So whats going on?

Oh well one day I might learn there is no easy quick fix!

All is still going well with him indoors, its now 11 days without an argument! His vodka consumption has halved so that may have something to do with it, who knows! He even let me go on a works night out on Thursday without any grief, now that is scary!
We stayed in all weekend, and I felt a bit bored so on Sunday I got my cross stitch out (yes, I was REALLY bored) and dida few hours of that.

This week I an on holiday from work, well supposedly, Tuesday and Thurs I have an out patient clinic to run, wednesday I have an early on MAU to make up for the morning I had a migraine and didnt realise I was at work, Friday I have Nightshift to make up for the one I swapped with a collegue as I felt shit after the migraine, so not much rest for the extremely wicked this week!