Tuesday, 27 May 2008

Shitty Day

I am so fed up!

There is puppy shit everywhere, I have just got home from an NVQ study day that was totally crap and boring, the kids are on holiday eating me out of house and home. I had to bath the older westie cos she stank of, well, dog I suppose!

The puppies keep whining although they have been fed, watered and played with.

It is damp and miserable outside and I am part way through day 3 without the booze and I have put on a pound in those 2 days.

I rest my case, back on the bottle tonight me finks!

Well on the plus side, I have no more work til next monday, he went to work this morning without a pack-up (well I wasnt making it!), someone is coming to look at the puppies later so hopefully that will leave me 2 little boys left.

With a bit of luck they will want to take him away today as they are getting to be a chore. Mum has had enough of them too. Poor cow. Well there are 8 of them and I am not sure how many titties she has but it cant be fun for her now. Well they are almost 7 weeks and they are eating independantly 4 meals a day. Well fingers crossed.

I have a horrible feeling of unrest. I still hate him indoors, and I cant see it getting any better. Financially without him I am Fucked, so what do I do? It aint no fun being poor with 2 kids that eat like adults, to bring up, and a mortgage I cant afford on my own!

Now the 3 dogs I could sacrifice but the kids are not really an option.

I need a plan! It's always good to have a plan!

But what???

Sunday, 25 May 2008

The Bitch switch is ON!!!

The Twat is at it again!

We went to a friends birthday BBQ yesterday, we was there from 4.30pm to 8.30pm and we both got a little drunk. It was a nice time and we were offered a lift home which we accepted. On the way home, him indoors (the twat) decided he didnt want to go home but on to the riveting bowls club, now normally I would have trudged along but I was tired and pissed. So I told him I didnt want to go, but he was having none of it, he was gonna go anyway!

So our friend let him out and I couldnt believe he went without me, I bitchily said he must be missing his ex-wife quite badly! (she normally pitches up and sits on the table next to us, cow!)

Well I got home and went to bed.

The next thing I am aware of is someone yelling about a locked door, I dives out of bed thinking that maybe the oldest boy had come home and locked the twat out, but he hadnt. The twat was so pissed that he could hardly stand up, and the 'locked' door turned out that he was so drunk that he kept punching in the wrong numbers on the keypad.

I let him in and he stood and verbally abused me, denied he was drunk and I asked him why he hadnt come home til gone 3am? to which he replied well who the fuck would want to be with me! I told him I could give him a list but didnt have a piece of paper big enough to hand. I then shoved him out the door and said IF he wasnt pissed he could make his own way back in!


He then disappeared up his shed, and thats where he stayed til gone 5am. Plenty good enough for him.

When he did sober up enough to let himself in, again he became abusive and called me a bitch, well I just saw red, I seriously wanted to cave his head in, but took to slamming about the kitchen instead.

I'll give him Bitch, I am a bitch for what reason? coming home and going to bed? He got what he wanted, a skinful, and out with his ex wife for the evening, he didnt have to buy me drinks so what the fuck is his problem? He wants Bitch, I'll give him BITCH!!!

He got into the young un's bed (he was at his grandads) and there he snored his head off but unfortunately he didnt die in his sleep, and has been lounging on the sofa since just gone midday.

Well I cleared off to bingo with my brother and didnt tell him I was going. Well why should I, he has made the rules, I am just following them!

I am now off to bed with a good book and hopefully he will stay on sofa. Well one can hope ...

Thursday, 22 May 2008


I got another letter from my doctor yesterday, now I am getting a bit worried!

I had the repeat blood tests as requested on Monday, Thursday the Doc sends me an appointment for 4/6/08 requesting it as non urgent so it cant be immenently life threatening I suppose.

But it isnt stopping me from worrying.

I woke up just after 6am yesterday to find a text on my mobile from my mother, asking if I could ring her when I woke up, now a few things crossed my mind, the first being that she was unwell and needed me to take her to the doctors, the other was my Dad had been taken ill, what I was not prepared for was that my 36 year old brother had been taken into hospital (MAU, my ward) with a suspected heart attack!

Well he is a heavy smoker and a heavy drinker, but 36 is still very young!

I immediately rang my ward and spoke to a collegue who assured me he was just dandy and they were doing tests, and he would be seen by a senior consultant that morning.

I asked to speak to him and he sounded his usual self, if a little worried, he then asked where he could go for a smoke, so I directed him to a spot where he was unlikely to get bollocked, then realised what the fuck I had done!! Here was my baby brother with a suspected heart attack and I was telling him where to go for a ciggie!!! Sometimes I am so blonde!

To be honest I really cant see him giving up but you never know once faced with a scare like that!

I am trying to give up drinking so much myself but am failing miserably, it's the stress of living with that twat, as I have never drunk so much since I have been with him!

Oh Bugger!

I went to my Mum's house today as I hadn't seen her since way before my holiday. I was already feeling fed up and a bit cranky and she didn't help my mood, first off she commented on how dry my skin looked and proceeded to rumage for a bottle of E45 lotion and insisted in rubbing it on my arms, and back, at least she handed me the bottle to do my chest area!!

I was telling her about my repeat blood tests for liver function etc and then she comes up with my nose has the beginnings of an alcoholic's OMG, what is she on about! I have just come back from Tenerife and having been burnt to a frazzle, of course my skin is going to be dry and my nose a bit red!!!

Well the day went on a decline from there!

We decided to go for a wander round a small town not far from where she lived. Now I hate this particular town as it is full of in-breds, and thick people with very large ear-rings and lots of thick gold chains round their necks.

The only good thing about it is that it is free to park! Well so I thought!

The sign as you drive in says 2 hours free parking then lower down it says with a valid parking ticket. The ticket machine used to be as you drove in you took a ticket before you parked up. No machine in sight! So we parks up and are gossiping about nothing in particular and we go on our merry way.

We had a KFC for lunch and we bought a few things in Peacocks (God I love that shop), we popped into the Chazzy (charity) shop to look at the books, all of a sudden I realised I hadn't took a ticket for the car park, OH FUCK.

We horsed back to the car park to find a parking fine attached to my wind screen. BOLLOCKS.

Now this is the part I dont get, the space was free for 2 hours and they want to charge me £85 because I didnt display a ticket for something that was free anyway???

I was not a happy bunny, it was obviously an oversight and surely if they want people to spend money in their shitty little town then pulling stunts like that aint going to encourage people.

Well I have written a letter of appeal cos I haven't got 85 bucks!

But I wont hold my breath. And I wont be back!

Saturday, 17 May 2008


I have just got back from the most painfully long week of my life!
And it was supposed to be my honeymoon! FFS!!!
It started out ok, friday tea time we arrived to a lovely hotel and gorgeous all inclusive food and drinks, Saturday was good too, probably the best day, I even got sex twice!

Sunday we took a downward spiral, him indoors decided he wasnt hungry, but instead of coming to the dining room and having a drink and maybe something light to eat, he refused point blank!
The trouble is he knows I wont go and eat alone, so I have to go without too!

Maybe he was just trying to help my diet, but then why take me on an all inclusive holiday?

Ok I dont mind skipping 1 meal, but the next day he decided to skip 2 meals, so I had to pop to the local Spar shop and get a sandwich.
He did it on purpose as a power thing, because there was nothing stopping him from coming to the dining room and sitting with me.
Tuesday he must have got a bit of an appetite as he dined with me at each meal. It was still not a very good day as we argued about a timeshare scam. He was offered 50 euros to go and listen to some presentation on time share, when he knows we have done it all before and end up there half the day, we agreed at the beginning of the holiday not to get sucked in. But once the pounds were wafted under his greedy snout he caved in good and proper! Well I was having none of it so that didnt go down well!

Wednesday was probably the worst day, the day before his birthday, he was absolutely hateful, saying wicked things to me because yet again he decided he wasnt going to eat. He wished he could get me 16 tubs of food, that would keep me quiet apparently. Oh dont worry I didnt take it laying down, as I told him I wished I could get 16 packs of tobacco and ram them down his throat til he choked and died that would certainly keep him quiet!

His birthday dawned and because I am a decent person, I decided to be civil to him. I gave him his cards and present and the day went well, the hotel had provided a birthday cake and champagne and he was buzzing, thinking I had asked for them to be sent to our room, whatever!

So all in all Thursday was not too bad and he even wanted sex! well it was his birthday, really I should have told him to fuck off but there was no-one else available apart from some slick spanish waiter who probably had aids!

Friday was spent drinking as much all inclusive booze til it was time to get our taxi to the airport, he started to get a bit cranky at the airport, and I decided there and then I really didnt like him at all!

Thank God I am back on home turf, he dont completely control everything here, at least I dont have to go out to the spar shop for my dinner!

Wednesday, 7 May 2008

Oh My God That Hurt!

I had my waxing done yesterday ready for my holiday.
OK maybe a little more info than you need but here's some more!
She started with downstairs, and I really thought she was going to rip my fanny off!
I have the 'New Yorker' as I find this feels the cleanest option (all off).

She then moved to under the arms and again I thought I was going to pass out, the eyebrows were slightly less painful, being as they are a lot smaller (than said fanny and armpits).

The reason it was so painful including paying £35 for the privilege, is because I have been on an economy drive for the last few months and have skipped my waxing and shaved instead.
But after going through that yesterday I will keep on top of the waxing in future because it really does get easier the more it's done.

Mind you I dont know why I bother as him indoors has had a whole 2 minutes of pleasure from it in the last 6 weeks. It's fucking tragic really considering I am gagging for it most days! Loser.

Mind you, I think the hair do on Saturday was nearly as painful, that cost £64 and it looks worse, style wise, but at least my roots aren't showing a different colour to the rest of my wig.

It could be worse, I should have been marrying that twat this week end and now I am not,

Tuesday, 6 May 2008

Has the credit world gone mad???

I have just got home from a gruelling nightshift, followed by an out-patient appointment for my youngest boy at the hospital. Which may I add was running some 50 mins late! Did they not realise I had just done almost 12 hours wiping bum's, changing sheets, doing blood pressure's, and putting myself at risk to a suspected case of meningitis! Not to mention the trauma of watching some poor old bugger take his last breaths while I helplessly looked on!

Well anyway the bad news is Liam still has a lot of blood in his wee, and they are going to refer him to some Addenbrooke's specialist??? The good news is his wound's are healing nicely and I can now go to bed!

I will go to bed wondering how on earth any credit company can justify the kind of interest rate that Provident Personal Credit charges?

I received an invitation for 'up to' £500 At a typical 183.2% APR ! Don't they know that the Halifax has given me a £13,650 credit limit on my credit card at just a bargain of 27% !!!!

What on earth is going on?

Do the government know these loan sharks are exploiting the poor? As they boast CCJ's not a problem, Tenants and unemployed welcome to apply, You could get the money even if you have been turned down before!!!

It is so wrong!

No wonder the people of this country are struggling, when arse-holes like that are allowed to operate!

It's about time something was done!

Friday, 2 May 2008


Well today I have a day off and I am gonna get my hair done! yay.

It certainly needs doing, my roots are seriously showing thru, and my fringe is seriously wonky where I have been hacking lumps off so I can see where I am going!

When will I learn???

I have made a bit of an arse of myself, just for a change, I kinda like this guy, Mr Big, and last night he text me and I completely showed myself up by getting moody and jealous, him indoors had pissed me off (again) and I was feeling so low, miserable and lonely, then I gets this text from Mr Big telling me he is out getting pissed with my friends and expects me to be thrilled for him!
Why oh why do I always go for Twats!

When will I learn???

Well I have text him early this morning to apologise for my behaviour, and I know its early, about 8am, and I did text him at 7am, but I have had no reply!

Now this could be for several reasons,

1, He pulled last night and is probably still going hard at it!

2, His phone is on silent!

3, He is still asleep!

4, The dog ate his phone!

5, He left his phone in the cab!

6, His phone is broken!

7, He just plain fucking hates me!

Him indoors is still snoring away upstairs with the dog! He said he was in pain last night and wouldn't be able to sleep so I gave him 2 temazepam tablets and completely knocked the fucker off!

Well at least he's quiet!

I have sold 2 of my 8 puppies, and still have 3 boys and 3 girls left. Well I actually have all 8 left cos they are too young at 3 weeks to leave mum, but you get my meaning.

I have advertised them on http://www.itsmymarket.com/ as I did the last litter I had, as I got rid of the lot last time on there and it never cost me a penny. Love it!

I have just been well and truly shafted, I ordered these pink patches, free trial online a couple of weeks ago, and they are crap, they seriously irritated my skin and I swear they increased my hunger instead of curbing it! Now this morning I have been greeted with an email to tell me that my months supply has just been dispatched at a total cost of £40.90 which includes P&P. What a terrific bargain! WTF!!!

I just hope they will allow me to return them for a refund!

When will I learn???