Sunday, 27 April 2008


Today I feel pissed off!

I have had a shit weekend and am finally coming to some serious conclusions!

Him indoors is not improving with age! We went to the bowls club on the walks Sunday after a couple of expensive drinks in the Fenman.

I really dont know why I went out with the twat, I guess it was as usual to keep an eye on him, that and the fact that I had been either working or at home all weekend.

I sat in the bowls club and read my newspaper, did the crossword and read the free magazine that came with the sunday paper. He then announces that I should ring a taxi as with it being a sunday we might struggle to get one. This was at 2.30pm I asked him when would he like it for and he said to try 3.30pm. I was successful in my attempt and he was satisfied and got us some more drinks.

When he came back from the bar, I casually asked how come when I came out with him, we always go home early, but if he goes out alone on a sunday I have trouble getting him back home!

As usual he didnt really answer.

Some old codger was heading out the door at this point and bid us farewell. Once the door was shut I called out 'thanks for coming' which usually gets a few sniggers. I often say this to people and I am famous for it at work, not discriminating between staff or patients!

Well the taxi arrived dead on time, so at least him indoors couldn't moan about that! He always has to have a gripe about something!

The day before I asked him if he would take me out for a nice sunday lunch as I get pissed off with cooking all week and as I didnt have work it would be nice to have a complete day off! He said that we could. On the way to the bowls club, I reminded him of the promised meal, and he said that he agreed to a takeaway. I felt slightly cheated but didnt want to cause a row.

When the taxi dropped us off, he asked me if I had ordered said takewaway, I said I wasnt sure who delivered at this time of day, if anyone, and would have to check the menu's indoors.

I asked Liam if he wanted a pizza and as he had his little friend with him, I asked if he would also like to share a pizza with Liam. This boy's parents took Liam away for a week last year on holiday so it was the least I could do!

Him indoors heard part of the conversation over the pizza, and started to rant about how he pays for everything, and why should he buy all my drinks when we are out, why should he pay for the takeaway etc.

O F F S!!! Please give it a rest! All I had in my purse was a tenner which I thrust at him and said that it would pay for mine and Liam's takeaway. To which he was spitting at the mouth and saying where was the money for his takeaway?? I explained that it was the only money I had, and that it was school dinner money for the boys, but not to worry (sarcastically).

I decided to hide the vodka because if he was this cranky after 5-6 pints of carling what on earth would I have been in for if he hit the hard stuff?

He then yells at me in a nasty tone ' Thanks for coming', to which I reply 'fuck off I love love marge!' This refers to a crappy tattoo on his arm, which has, 'I', then 2 love hearts and a badly spelt marie which looks like marge! This was one of his ex wives who was shagging the tattoo artist behind his back and when they split up she forged papers and changed their sons surname and fucked off so he couldnt find them. She then took out large loans in his name and he still lovingly supports the tattoo in her memory! Whatever! personally I would have gouged out her name (and her heart) with a rusty pen knife rather than be reminded of the heartache she caused.

I wish I knew what his problem is. I yelled at him that I really hated him and I didnt love him anymore, he viciously replied he hated me too and didnt love me either. I said that was a good job and we should put the house on the market. He wholeheartedly agreed.

Now I have a dilemma, I love my little house but I know I dont love him, I think he has finally chipped the last bit away. Why cant we just go out, have a nice time, come home and be nice to each other? It really cant be that difficult! Can it?

So do I ring an estate agent and get a for sale board put up, or do I try and get the mortgage on my own and buy him out?

I dont want to get the next door neighbours hopes up with the for sale board, but I feel I should make a stand somewhere.

The twat slept on the sofa, unlucky, and I am on nightshift tonight, so I haven't got to put up with him too much this evening.

I think I may go out and get laid or something today as I really am so fucked off with him. He is just a downright nasty fuck. I bend over backwards to make him happy, I look after him really well, and at times he treats me like shit.

Maybe I will suggest living seperate lives for a while and see how it goes, he spends most of his time on the sofa anyway. Lets see what he has to say for himself when he gets home this evening. Because at the moment he disgusts me, fucking miserable old duffer!

Monday, 21 April 2008

Spring has sprung!

What a lovely time spring is!, all the pretty flowers are coming through, everything is getting greener. We have puppies and babies in the family, sadly no weddings, well actually in my case gladly there are no weddings. Him in doors and I were meant to tie the knot in May! OMG wot on earth was I thinking??? I don't even like him!

Well it really was a moment of madness probably on both our parts really (he don't like me neither!). It was sometime back in January, we was not on speaking terms (again) and I had been to the hospital social club with some collegues, I was still awol at 3am when he started to ring me! Now bearing in mind he had dumped me (again) so I was a free agent! I ignored his calls working him into a state. I decided I had better go home or he would just ring all night long!

When I arrived home he was sitting at the kitchen table demanding to know where I had been!

I explained that since we were no longer a couple then it really had sweet FA to do with him!

He accused me of shagging one of the doctors (just one?) well as if I would do anything like that, ahem!

I think he decided that he wanted me because he thought I had someone else as we went to bed and I actually felt sorry for him and asked him if he wanted a cuddle (expecting a FUCK RIGHT OFF) and was met with a 'well just a little one', I was well surprised. The cuddle turned to a bit more and Bob's your uncle and Fanny's your aunt! The next morning he left me a note telling me to book the wedding. Which like a fool I did!

Dont worry it only took me aprox 10 days to un-book venue, registrar, return bridesmaid dresses etc

But I have to admit that it's such a nice day today and the honeymoon is looming, I kinda feel a little sad that I dont like him enough to marry him. Hey Ho!

Never mind the plus side is we still get to do the honeymoon, yay! 5 star all inclusive here we come!

Well I am off for my bath, as I have an induction thingy at the hospital for my NVQ level 2 in care today. So enough chat for one day!

Friday, 18 April 2008

The Agony and the Ecstasy

Him indoors is still in agony!, His shoulder is really painful,I really don't know why the twat don't visit the doctor. It must be getting on for 2 weeks now. Trouble is if he wont rest, it wont repair!

Oh well not to worry, I can't feel a thing! It's just the smell of deep heat and my depleting stock of tramadol that I am not happy about!

Victory was won over the friends ex-husband, now I would not be one to take side normally, but he reminds me of MY ex-husband, who thinks he is above the law.

MY friends Ex turns up at court yesterday with a Barrister, as opposed to a normal solicitor, what a twat! That would have cost him a fortune and he still only came out with one third of the proceedings, my friend getting 2 thirds. Oh well at least he thought he looked important in front of the judge with his Barrister!

She was buzzing when she got out of court and admitted that the Barrister was as fit as f**k!!
So basically the ex, paid all that money for my friend to sit and drool over. Nice one!

Yay, I am off to bingo tonight, him indoors really knows how to show a girl a good time!
It's not that I don't like bingo, I do, but Friday night is party night! Not 2 fat lady's !!!

Right I really need to grab a bath as I have to take my maiden aunt into town this morning as she has far too much money and I need to help her spend it. Gladly.

Thursday, 17 April 2008

I Am An Auntie Again!

Well I can now announce the arrival of my beautifau baby neice!

She was born yesterday at 03.47 after an extremely hard labour, then my poor sis couldnt deliver the placenta so had to be took to theatre to have it removed. I popped up to see her and baby before I started my shift yesterday and I was really shocked at her palour! She looked such a funny colour. (Sis not baby). I wheeled her down for a much needed ciggie, poor cow, I dont smoke but if I looked like that I would need a cig!

The baby, who has no name, but I like Daisy so she will be Daisy for now, is absolutely f**king gorgeous! She is so good and hadn't cried at all! Now thats my kinda kid!

Unlike my son Liam, when he was born, he screamed the whole place down for 5 solid hours!

Well him indoors that must be obeyed, has been like a lamb all week, he has a shoulder strain and is in agony, (plenty good enough for him). So he has been rubbing in the deep heat and scoffing tramadol like smarties. Long may it continue!

I am patiently waiting for my friend as we are supposed to be doing lunch today after she has been to court to take her ex-husband to the cleaners! You go girl!! Anyway I wish she would hurry up as I am starving!

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

Now whats wrong with me???

I swear I am becoming a hypochondriac!

I have been feeling light headed for quite sometime now, so I asked a colleague to do me a blood test and send the results to my GP. 3 days later I receive a letter from my GP asking me to have a repeat liver function and gamma GT levels checked again in a months time.

Now its obviously not immanently life threatening, but I am worried all the same!
I know I drink too much so do I cut right back and live a long dull life, or do I do as I have always promised myself? LIVE LIFE IN THE FAST LANE AND DIE YOUNG?

Now I am faced with my own demise, I am losing my bravado for the latter!
So is it tomato juice this evening or my usual bottle of chardonnay?

I wish I knew if this was serious, or potentially serious. Maybe best stick to the tomato juice for now.

Monday, 14 April 2008

I got me 8 puppies!!

Yes it's true!, my little westie Tia gave birth to 8 very tiny bundles last night. The first one arriving at about 11pm and the last one at about 05.30am this morning. This is her second and final litter, and I cant believe the poor little mare had to do it 8 times! (give birth that is).

We have 4 boys and 4 girls, so a nice even mix. I stayed up most of the night with her as I was worried something may go wrong and at £300 each little bundle, it was worth losing a bit of sleep to make sure they were all safe!

Sid (the daddy) is strutting around today, but he doesnt know what all the fuss is about. Tia wont let him near the babbies, so she will have to deal with all the night feeds herself! Daft cow!

They dont half make a lot of noise for a lot of tiny scraps. I dont know how she will cope with trying to feed that lot at once, maybe it would be best to get the KFC bargain bucket lol!

Unfortunately I had to go to work this morning, but Jamie (oldest boy) stayed home to keep his eye on things. God they are like white rats with pink noses and ears. They will get better looking! They all develop their own characters and have very different temperaments. Its surprising really.

Well I think I may have an hours kip before I got to start dinner, or maybe I will pop to KFC!

Tuesday, 8 April 2008

I survived nightshift......just!

Thank God that is over!

I had nightshift Sunday night after feeling terrible all day with a migraine and spent most of the day in bed, between getting up to be violently sick!

The shift wasnt too bad to be honest and it was soon time to come home and crawl into my lovely warm bed.

I got into bed at 08.37 am and at 12.17 pm I was still trying to get off to sleep. I knew I should have had that chardonnay in the fridge but after the migraine I was feeling weary.

I got up at 12.35 to take a 2nd sleeping pill, and I think around half past 1, I eventually nodded off. Only to be woken by the dogs howling at half past 2!! WTF!!!

I had a really crap sleep all in all and had to make my way back to do a 2nd nightshift feeling like a total zombie!

We had our usual spatter of patients, the demented ones who manage to pee in the bed, then ring the bell to tell you they are wet! What happened to ringing the bell BEFORE you piss the bed love??

Oh well not to worry, then there is the 94 year old patient calling out for her father?? OK my love if your father was alive, how old do you think he would be? answer - 'well older than me obviously!'

What can you say to that?

Then there is the patient who has to have the 'special' large ambulance bring him in to hospital as he wont fit in a normal ambulance! He has a 'special' bed that will take his weight and then there are the poor 'special' nurses who have to haul him up the bed just so he can breathe properly, and although I may seem a little un-caring, its only because my neck and shoulder is still hurting from the strain! But thats ok because when his relatives come in to visit him they will bring him lots of nice things to eat to cheer him up!

Well on that note I am going to take my slimming pill and go to bed! (11lb off so far!)

Night night x

Saturday, 5 April 2008

Daily Dilemma's

Today I think I might get my pink suitcases from the loft. Well it is 5 weeks til my holiday and I need to get organised. Usually I pack the night before but it is a bit of a rush. So this time I am going to be more on top of things. well lets see if I can be bothered.

I cant decide whether to travel to Stansted the night before and stay in hotel so I feel fresh for my flight or to just travel on the day. it is only 2 hours away and our flight is at 11.50am .

The boys are spending the weekend with their Dad. He has hired a caravan at Heacham as he has no fixed address in the U.K. He works mostly abroad and has his stuff in storage!

No doubt when I tell him that it's his turn to take the boys on holiday he will use the Heacham caravan as his turn. I have taken the boys to Tenerife twice since I left him and he has taken them to Scotland to see his mum for a week. Oh yeah and now a weekend in a caravan down the road.

Well I have been painting doors all day and am now bored, and my back aches.

So it's a toss up between cross stitch or a film, decisions decisions!

Friday, 4 April 2008

Freecycle without the pedal work!

I just got home from the quietest nightshift ever! Get this, A & E was completely empty for about 2 whole hours! I have never known it!

I had the Ob's (observations) round to do at the beginning and end of shift, a couple of wet beds, 2 or 3 bed pans to get for patients and that was basically that! Love it!

Lets hope Sunday and Monday nights go just as nicely!

The best thing about nightshift is coming home and being able to have a glass of chardonnay instead of weetabix and not be classed as in need of help!

Well I just checked out a recent good website, it's called freecycle and it is fantastic!

It is a website that helps you get rid of stuff, find things you need all for free so it doent go to land fill. WOW, I love it! I AM SERIOUSLY HOOKED.

I discovered it on which I thoroughly recommend. I am seriously hooked. It is just an ordinary guy, who seems quite intelligent, and it gets quite personal, with his feelings towards his young son, his ex wife, the loss of his father, the juggling of his jobs etc. The reason I like to read it most though is that it is so nice to see a parent who actually really puts their kid first, I for one, being totally the opposite as I am one of the most selfish people I know. I guess while I am reading his blog I almost feel like I am living it with him and think I am a good parent too! Bless me! I also like it cos it makes me smile which is always a good thing!

Tuesday, 1 April 2008

Welcome Home?

At last, my little man is home and as I type is lying on his bed with his laptop in situ, after having spent half an hour on the loo!

He has been sent home with some more antibiotics to continue for 1 week and some nasal cream to stop re-infection.

Well, the retard came hame last night and I realised he was not going to pack his stuff as he got out of his van and brought in his lunch box. Empty, obviously in the hope I would refill it with all the wonderful goodies he normally gets packed up with-no doubt!

I had written him a note asking for an apology for calling me a thief and I still havent had one, I told him how wrong he was in ringing me at work while he was pissed, blah, blah, blah! I think it went in one ear and out the other. Twat.

I said 'I take it you arent moving out?'

He didnt answer.

Its his usual reply.

So we walked up to the Fenman pub to give his mate the money he had promised to lend him, we had a couple of drinks and got a taxi home.

I cooked dinner, made his pack up for the following day and watched Eastenders.

And yet again it all returns back to 'normal' til the next time.