Thursday 25 September 2008

Where does the time go?

I can not believe I have been that busy I have not had time to read my favorite blogs or update my own.
I am now in to week 3 back at work and have steadily increased my hours from about 11 up to 24. Yeah I know thats pathetic, but I only worked 20 before I became ill!

I am really enjoying work, and I am so glad I made the decision to quit the Medical Assesment Unit and just do adhoc (bank) work.

I have been all over the hospital, from the cancer ward (very sad), to the obs & gynae out patient clinic, breast clinic and fracture clinic.
It is so interesting and I never get chance to get bored.
I am also in to week 3 of my indian head massage course, which is a bit harder than I anticipated but I like a challenge!

Him indoors has mellowed right out again, I did some reverse physcology on him and it worked a treat. Shame really as I had already spent the 8 grand settlement money lol!

Isnt it strange what a difference a week can make? Mind you I was a bit of an emotional wreck on wednesday which was my day off. I had gone over to see my mum, and we were sitting at the kitchen table chatting, and I was telling her about a really strange experience I had at my Grandad's on Monday, I was in his lounge and we were standing chatting as I was about to leave after a game of poker and Liam (my youngest) was tapping me on my shoulder, I ignored his first tap as it didnt have an urgent feel to it, I carried on talking with my back to him, when he did it a second time, I swung round to tell him to stop being rude and there was no-one there!
I could then hear Liam in his Aunt's room next door and they were heartily chatting about a book.

Grandad went outside to get me the hedge trimmers and Liam went and got in the car, I then burst into tears and asked Mad Auntie for a hug (unheard of!) and told her what had happened.
It will be 10 years on the 9th of December that my Nan died in that house and I have longed to have some sign that she was there still, and I know deep within that it was her! Mad Auntie is her daughter and unmarried and mostly unloved, all she had was my Nan, so why on earth I felt this overwhelming urge to hug her I will never be able to explain!

I know it all sounds a bit far fetched, and if I hadn't experienced it I would possibly have doubts, Liam promised that it wasn't him and to be honest he could'nt have got away that quick with the door pushed to anyway. I would like to think she is still with us, and I know she will never leave me because most importantly she is in my heart.

My Mum was really good about it all and let me have a really good cry, I still miss my Nan so much and anyone that says it gets better with time obviously didn't feel as strongly as I do. It is still as painful not having her here as it was in the begining.

Listen at me rambling on! it has gone 2 in the morning and I got up for a drink, and felt the need to talk to someone. I knew I should have taken my sleeping tablet lol!

Night Night x

2 comments:

auntiegwen said...

Glad you're feeling better, we were worried about you sweetie, remember there's usually always someone online if you need to chat xxx

FOXY1969 said...

Thanks auntie, there really are some good people out there (yourself included)
xxx